Word has been leaked that Joe Biden is taking every spare moment to prepare for his mid-week summit meeting with Russia’s Vladimir Putin. It won’t be enough.
If this is a battle of wits, we’re sending in an unarmed man to represent us. Before it’s over, Biden may end up giving back Alaska and making a deal to buy a trillion gallons of vodka for $1 billion a gallon.
Let’s just hope Sleepy Joe doesn’t fall back on one of his pet boasts and challenge Putin to meet him behind the school gym to settle matters with a quick bit of fisticuffs. Make no mistake, that would be quick and I don’t care if DOCTOR JILL BIDEN gets to slip Joe a foreign object to help subdue the foreign guy.
Biden isn’t exactly showing sharp-as-a-tack form of late, including recently continuing to refer to Syria as Libya. If you don’t believe that, just check the official White House web site, which captured Biden’s verbal fumbling in all its glory. Give them credit for not polishing the remarks by eliminating the gaffes and misstatements.
Putin could send that horse he often is pictured astride to this summit and Biden would be over-matched intellectually.
Oh, to be a fly on the wall when Biden actually gets to meet Putin. I imagine it will go something like this.
BIDEN: Nikita, so good to meet you. (nervous coaching whispers from Biden’s handlers) Joseph? Leonid? Gorby? (more whispers/coaching) I mean Vlad.
PUTIN: No problem, same to you Mr. Trump.
BIDEN: By the way, Vlad, my son Hunter currently is between jobs, so do you have any high paying posts in state-run enterprises that he might be able to fill? Don’t worry about qualifications, he is more than willing to take on something for which he has absolutely no training or experience.
PUTIN: (unintelligible mumble).
BIDEN: No? Well, no problem. Hey, did I mention to you I’m running for Senate?
PUTIN: But I thought president was a higher post in your corrupt form of government?
BIDEN: It is, but Kamala’s got that one nailed down once they decide to pull the plug on me.
PUTIN: I’d heard something like that was said by that punk dilettante from Canada who only got elected because he traded on his father’s name.
BIDEN: Hey, Vlad some of my best sons are dilettantes. Like Barack once said, If he had a son he’d probably be a lot like Trayvon, I mean Trudeau.
PUTIN: Let us get down to business. I become weary of being the bogeyman for you and your socialist party members. Hacking, botched elections, illegal interference in campaigns, your out-of-control social media, always it is the Russians who are blamed for these capitalist failings. Why don’t you bother to mention that about eight of the top goalies in your National Hockey League are all Russians?
BIDEN: What’s hockey? But enough about selling things. By the way, do you have any female aides whose hair I can sniff?
PUTIN: Mr. President, I am shocked that you would reduce me to the role of pimp. However, if you want me to drum up a false dossier about women urinating on you in bed, well, that can be done.,
BIDEN: No, thanks, Vlad. (Looking at his Mickey Mouse watch) Gee, where did all the time go? Mickey’s big hand is on . . . it’s almost 5 o’clock. If I’m going to get the early bird special at the buffet, and be in bed by 6, I have to be going.
PUTIN: But, but, but . . .
BIDEN: Come on, man, I mean Lenin. I’ll send Kamala next time and make sure she brings some of those cookies that look just like her. But, whatever else you might do, don’t mention that she’s fibbed a lot about visiting the U.S.-Mexico border. Makes her get all hostile. Remember that and it will all go well. Now, can someone please tell me where I am again? And can any of you spare a Depends?
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