Only here can you read a tortured linkage between Greater Johnstown’s weekend boom (acoustical, not economic, of course) and the NFL standing firm on its intent to send the Steelers to play a football game in the Paris war zone this coming weekend.
It was Saturday night, shortly after 9 p.m., when a loud explosion shook the front of my house (note that fact for later) in Southmont Borough and startled the wife and our small dog, Virgil, both of whom already having repaired to the bedroom for the night.
I was watching sports on the tube when I heard – and felt – the boom.
A few years back, before my ‘hood had devolved into a cacophony of fireworks set off randomly by ADHD types, hour-long drumming sessions, over-amped stereos, illegal and noisy vehicles of all kinds being run up and down the street, rogue car alarms, and packs of dogs whose owners seem oblivious to the constant barks of their canines, there would have been a rush to the door to gather information on the boom.
These days, my butt remained planted in the sectional’s recliner. Only later, when making a trip to the bathroom, did I check to compare notes with the wife — and Virgil.
In the interim, fire sirens had been heard, along with what seemed to be such emergency vehicles rushing past on Goucher Street.
Social media message sites, including the Neighbors one the wife frequents, apparently already were ablaze with speculation. Had a house exploded on Tioga Street? Had the smattering of No Kings protesters from earlier gone violent? Were “students” looking to trash the area, like Paris?
Predictably, officials had nothing to offer, even going so far as to deny there had been an explosion of any kind. This too often is the fallback position of our establishment. Don’t believe your lying eyes, or in this case, ears. It’s the same stuff being spewed regarding UFOs, USOs, UAPs, not to mention nefarious operations by the FBI, CIA, NSA, USAID, NGOs and other governmental alphabet soup operations.
I had relegated the boom to the great unsolved mysteries of life file. Yesterday, while on a walk, a neighbor woman referred to the boom and speculated a report might show up on our local television newscast.
Said I: “Only if they heard it in State College or Centre County.”
Imagine my surprise Sunday night when the local television station’s web site had someone in authority actually admitting to a boom after an initial blanket denial. Of course, our local regional gendarmes could not be reached for comment.
But, in a Monday morning update, the site referred to Tannerite, an explosive compound shooters favor for added kicks and giggles because it is set off when hit by a high-speed firearms round.
In the interest of fairness, perhaps the local Woke Gazette had something, too. I cannot say for sure since the Woke Gazette’s web site is locked behind a paywall and I don’t have an open line of credit to float a loan to cover the cost of purchasing a single copy at any retail outlet.
I’m still laboring to grasp why the concussion was felt on the front of my house, away from the directions initially cited for the boom. And, along that line, I’m not totally buying the Tannerite tale, just as I didn’t accept so many “swamp gas” explanations that Project Blue Book had for UFOs witnessed by the populace.
Also Monday morning, the NFL has decreed the scheduled game between the Steelers and New Orleans Saints will be played in riot-torn Paris, as planned.
I presume the tone-deaf NFL will pack a 747 with those insipid helmet stickers – Choose Love, Inspire Change, Stop Hate, End Racism – to be passed out to rioting “students” and thus solve France’s immigrant-inspired meltdown.
Also, it is regrettable that Joey Porter Sr. no longer is associated with the Steelers. This would be the kind of trip the former star linebacker might have enjoyed, considering his many reported brushes with the law through the years and the various stories of the times he was a pain in the rump while attending his son’s high school football games.
Speaking of pains in the rump, various reports recall the time Porter Sr. was shot in his ample backside in late August 2003 outside a Denver bar. He missed two games that season due to the shooting.
I suspect Porter The Elder would have found a way to insinuate himself into the Paris riot scene as a real-life Forrest Gump.