Blogger’s note: In an homage to the era of Top-40 AM radio and 45-rpm records, we present a twin spin of traditional carols updated with the politics of our time.
WE WISH YOU A MERRY VAXMAS (To be sung to the tune of We Wish You A Merry Christmas).
(Verse 1) We wish you a merry vaxmas,
We wish you a merry vaxmas,
We wish you a merry vaxmas,
Many jabs in your rear.
(Refrain) Free needles we bring,
to you and your kin.
We wish you a merry vaxmas, and a jab in your rear.
(Verse 2) We won’t stop until you get some,
We won’t stop until you get some,
We won’t stop until you get some,
So give in, don’t fear.
(Refrain) Free needles we bring,
to you and your kin.
We wish you a merry vaxmas, and a jab in your rear.
(Verse 3) We all know our vaxes don’t work,
We all know our vaxes don’t work,
We all know our vaxes don’t work,
It’s right what you hear.
(Refrain) Free needles we bring,
to you and your kin.
We wish you a merry vaxmas, and a jab in your rear.
(Verse 4) But still do we want to jab you,
But still do we want to jab you,
But still do we want to jab you,
To keep you in fear.
(Refrain) Free needles we bring,
to you and your kin.
We wish you a merry vaxmas, and a jab in your rear.
LITTLE FLUFFER BOY (To be sung to the tune of Little Drummer Boy).
Yes, behold me
Pa rum pum pum pum.
I am Big Guy’s bag man
Pa rum pum pum pum.
I keep his hands so clean
Pa rum pum pum pum.
That he might be your king
Pa rum pum pum pum,
Rum pum pum pum,
Rum pum pum pum.
Here I come.
Pum, pum, pum, pum,
Pa rum, pum, pum.
Fudged vote totals,
Pa rum pum pum pum.
In bed with the Chinese,
Pa rum pum pum pum.
The finest grift we bring,
Pa rum pum pum pum.
The stench of it does cling,
Pa rum pum pum pum,
Rum pum pum pum,
Rum pum pum pum.
And we’re not done.
Pum, pum, pum, pum,
Pa rum, pum, pum.
We’re running quite a game
Pa rum pum pum pum.
Trading on family name
Pa rum pum pum pum.
And just for our own gain
Pa rum pum pum pum.
We do not share your pain
Pa rum pum pum pum,
Rum pum pum pum,
Rum pum pum pum.
We’re never done!
Sam Ross Jr's site 