I ventured out this morning, despite the fear porn being dispensed by local weather people.
The folks on the various local Stormwatch–Stormcenter–Oh My God You’re All Going To Die–Armageddon Is Nigh–Doomsday broadcasts warned of sleet and freezing rain.
Such weather is not an all that uncommon state of affairs in the mountains of Western Pennsylvania, yet each recurrence is treated with overkill hype.
It’s a variation of how “news” has devolved into telling people to look after outdoor pets in extreme heat or cold, or to be careful driving in snow and ice or rain and fog, or not to put a plastic dry-cleaning bag over their heads lest they suffocate and be lost forever to the ratings numbers.
At this point I will emulate these broadcasts with some free, no-kidding advice: Studies have found that hitting yourself on the head with a hammer hurts and can cause long-term damage. Now, back to the matter of driving in ice and snow . . .
My brother, who lives at an elevation several hundred feet lower than I, had been using the wife’s old front-wheel drive sleigh and reported things weren’t that bad downtown.
A quick scan of my surroundings indicated ice and slush, but nothing approaching impassable, so he was given the go-ahead to pick me up.
The reason we were daring the weather was to make the daily visit to our mother, who is in long-term care.
We had no difficulty in getting there. But I am pleased to report that in riding maybe two miles with him, then returning solo two miles or so to my house, the high level of driving idiocy for which this area is known was being maintained, albeit by fewer drivers.
One brain donor, doing the old left onto Sunshine and right onto Susquehanna dodge to avoid the traffic light at Goucher and Menoher, decided approximately 100 feet was enough room to make another left and pull safely in front of a plow truck on Menoher.
Said plow truck disagreed and planted the brakes hard, allowing the moron to avoid being broadsided in the driver’s door and, ostensibly, to live to do more stupid things.
But wait, there’s more.
The person following me – too closely for this or any condition – almost didn’t get stopped before hitting me. Not at all sobered by that experience, the same driver continued to follow much too close for conditions.
This could have been problematic as I eventually would have to make two left turns. To aid this clueless individual, I slowed my speed, made sure to hit the turn signals plenty early and tapped out in Morse code with the brake pedal a message having to do with safe driving.
Turning onto my street, I was amused, but not surprised, to see a car at the end of the block pulled at a 45-degree angle across both lanes. Apparently the person was scraping snow and ice off their car and wanted to deposit it in the middle of the street instead of in their parking space.
I assure you, I’m not making up any of this.
Let us close with more news you can use. Another neighbor had her vehicle running (remote start) when I went onto my front porch to await my brother. It still was running when he picked me up, and when I returned from dropping him off to visit our mother. We’re talking about at least 30 minutes and likely more.
Two points need to be made.
First of all, any person knowledgeable about cars will tell you the best winter startup procedure is to let the car idle for about 30 seconds and then begin driving gently. Extended idling is not good for the car’s engine and you will warm it up and melt the snow/ice on windows faster by driving. This is the magic of fuel injection instead of old-school carburetors. Take a few seconds to scrape windows, then start the car and leave.
Second, never buy a used car that comes equipped with a remote starter. While the mileage on the odometer may be low, the hours of running time will be high resulting in much unnecessary wear and tear on the engine and other components. That 30,000-mile car you buy might have an engine that’s run the equivalent of 70,000 miles considering that idling is less than ideal for engines and produces much wear.
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