Consider the difficulties White House staffers might have had today trying to brief Joe Biden on the mass shooting and bombing scare in New York City.
It might go something like this.
Staff: Sir, there’s been a dramatic incident in Brooklyn.
Biden: Brooklyn? I can’t wait to get out again and see the Dodgers play at Ebbets Field.
Staff: Actually, sir, the Dodgers moved to Los Angeles in 1958.
Biden: 1958? That’s the year those Russkies launched Sputnik so Vlad could spy on the world.
Staff: No, sir, that was 1957.
Biden: Speaking of 1957, how about those Chevy tailfins that year! You know, I once drove one of those in NASCAR, before I became a noted Corvette race driver.
Staff: Sir, back to the shooting.
Biden: Old Dick Cheney was at it again I guess. Did I ever tell you about the time he shot the guy while out quail hunting? Speaking of Hunter, maybe the New York cops could hire him as a special consultant to investigate today’s horrible incident. I mean, Hunter’s made a lot of dough consulting on things he knows little to nothing about. Did I ever tell you that he still refers to me as The Big Guy? What a kid. But he does have a habit of losing things, like laptop computers. Hey, laptops. Ever had a lap dance? I bet Hunter’s had a few of those, wink wink.
More Biden: And speaking of Wink, where’s my man Winken?
Staff: That’s Secretary of State BLINKEN, sir.
Biden: What about Nod? Anyone seen Nod? Come to think of it, anyone seen Kamala lately? I usually can keep track of her by that maniacal laugh.
Staff: Sir, we have put together a statement for you to read regarding the Brooklyn shooting and bombing attempt. It’s the usual boilerplate that all guns should be banned from private ownership, all people should be monitored 24 hours a day with tracking implants, no conservative ever can write or say anything that is considered negative about you or Democrats. And please, sir, just read the teleprompter. No ad libs.
Biden: Ad Libs? I once sang with them, backup on “The Boy From New York City.” New York City, isn’t that close to Brooklyn?
Staff: Actually, sir, Brooklyn is one of New York City’s five boroughs.
Biden: Burro? You know, some people say I’m a burro, but they use the nasty synonym, and I don’t mean donkey.
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