As a followup to the previous car-oriented post, here’s a primer for dealing with online sellers, specifically on Facebook Marketplace.
I’ve written about this in the past, but it warrants updating. And, for those who are familiar with my stated detachment from social media, allow me to reiterate that I use my son’s account for my car searches and interactions, all with his knowledge and approval.
Craigslist once upon a time was a good resource, but has deteriorated badly through the years.
Facebook Marketplace seems to be following that same path. But, I’ve been able to purchase three of my current fleet of five cars through Facebook — two hobby Mustangs and my wife’s daily driver, a 2004 Pontiac Grand Prix acquired with 14,000 original miles.
My son also purchased a Chevrolet Equinox I’d identified from a Facebook posting.
Those experiences were great, with forthright, honorable, reliable people who provided information and did what they said they would do. But I’ve encountered a lot of other types of sellers.
Just last week I got to make a 120-mile, totally fruitless, roundtrip to Apollo, Pa., to look at a Pontiac Fiero. The owner wasn’t there, having had his work schedule changed the night before. But, did he call me as he promised he would do should something come up? Why, no. No, he didn’t.
This jackass – and I use the term with all due respect – actually messaged me later through Facebook wanting me to come back another day. I kept it clean in my response, since it wasn’t my account, but I did tell him after this outrage I wouldn’t cross the street to look at his car. I also suggested his lame excuse of forgetting about his promise to me, or even having participated in the call, spoke volumes about him in terms of mental illness.
On a side note, one of those countless YouTube “influencers,” this one specializing in cars, made a salient point in a video I watched – never buy a car if you don’t like the owner. Commit that to memory and refer to it often if you want to buy cars from Facebook Marketplace, Craigslist or the like.
Now, here are some familiar ad themes and how to deal with them.
What they say: Don’t ask me a lot of silly questions.
What they mean: I don’t want to go on the record having to deny the vehicle’s existing problems of which I am knowledgeable.
What you should say: How would you define a silly question?
What they say: Don’t try to lowball me. I know what I have.
What they mean: Actually, I have an inflated idea of what this car is worth, which demonstrates my generally loose association with reality.
What you should say: I think I will pass on your vehicle.
What they say: I’m not necessarily looking to sell, just testing the waters.
What they mean: I’m playing hard to get. But if you offer me a ridiculously high amount for my piece of garbage, I’d gladly unload it on you.
What you should say: Get back to me when you are looking to sell.
What they say: No joyrides. Cash in hand only.
What they mean: I’m putting the pressure on you to buy a car without thoroughly test-driving it and maybe even setting you up for robbery of your “cash in hand.”
What you should say: I don’t travel hundreds of miles to get my jollies driving someone else’s car. I could just rent a Mustang GT if I wanted that. But, since I’m being asked to trust you without verifying the state of the car, perhaps you can return the favor and I can just have the title transferred to my name and drive it home if I promise, maybe double pinky swear, to send you the money sometime down the line.
What they say: I wouldn’t be afraid to hop in this car and drive it to California tomorrow.
What they mean: By extension, you should have absolute faith in this car I’m trying to sell you.
What you should say: Your confidence in expecting to get in a perhaps decades-old, high-mileage car and drive it cross-country without incident suggests you are a tad delusional.
What they say: The car is not currently inspected, but it will sail right through.
What they mean: And if it doesn’t, well, tough luck. Buyer beware.
What you should say: Since there will be no inspection expense beyond the base fees, how about you get it inspected and emissions checked and I’ll bump the sales price by $150?
What they say: Don’t ask if it’s available. If it’s listed it’s available. If you ask if it’s still available, you will be ignored.
What they mean: It’s available. Its available. It’s available. It’s available.
What you should ask them: Is it still available?
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