Quieting The Thunder

Thunder in the Valley, the motorcycle rally that was cut adrift from official support Thursday, is a metaphor for Johnstown in general.

Once a thriving, vibrant thing, Thunder succumbed to discord, competition and general lack of effective promotion. Sound familiar?

We wrote in this space not that long ago, regarding the most recent event, that it had become a pale imitation of its early days – sort of like Johnstown. But we didn’t expect the event to lose its official backers, at least not this soon.

One of the tourist people, who never did get around to announcing the specific bottom line for the 2023 edition, was quoted in a story on the WTAJ TV web site claiming the event never broke even in any of the 25 years it was held.

If we accept that, then even in the early days, when the event drew hordes of bikers and gawkers, it didn’t pay the expenses. So, who’s to think anyone down the line can take over running the event and hope to make money, without a healthy infusion of handouts either private or public?

Imagine this sad news being broken to a select group of national left-wing types.

PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN: Motorcycles? Come on, man! You know, I own a Corvette. Almost lost it in a home fire, just as tragic as that Hawaii thing. Did I ever tell you about the time when I was a lifeguard at a swimming pool that I faced down the leader of a Hell’s Angels gang? Old Corn Dog really turned tail when The Big Guy threatened to withhold funding unless he left. And don’t think just because I fell off that pedal bike awhile back that I can’t ride a hog. Right, Dr. Jill? Hog, that’s a Harley, right?

VICE PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS: Johns Town (Pause. Spontaneous cackle) Johns Town. Motor Cycle. Thunder. That would be loud. The thunder and the motorcycle (More cackling). But I can assure you if anything should happen to Joe Biden, I’m ready to ride to the rescue on my motor . . . cycle . . . in Johns . . . town . . . or where . . . ever . . . it . . . might . . . be . . . necessary.

NEW YORK CITY MAYOR ERIC ADAMS: I can understand Johnstown’s problem. You throw open the door, declare yourself a sanctuary city and then illegal immigrants, or bikers, show up and take over and leave the city unable to meet the logistical challenge. I commend Johnstown for biting the bullet and admitting to a failed experiment. I only wish my electorate would allow me to speak the truth about our illegal immigrant problem, the one I’ve said will destroy New York City, by putting the blame squarely on my fellow Democrats and their open-border policies.

PRESIDENTIAL PRODIGAL SON HUNTER BIDEN: Fear not, Johnstown. I will put in a call to The Big Guy and we should be able to make this little problem go away. We have a brand, you know. Just tell me you have a high-paying opening for a guy with zero tourism organizing experience, one that has my name written all over it, and your problems are over.

OPRAH WINFREY AND DWAYNE “THE ROCK” JOHNSON: Recognizing losing this $20-million-a-year infusion into the local economy will sting, we are organizing an effort to appeal for donations. We will seed this with $2.50 cash money from our own funds and count on the little people coast-to-coast and around the world to make the bulk of the donations that we can present in our names. By the way, is there any cheap real estate available in Johnstown, which I understand soon will rival Hawaii as a tourist destination?