A record $1.4 billion or so is projected to be bet – legally – on Sunday’s Super Bowl, or about the amount the USAID office used to dispense weekly to questionable causes, before the DOGE guys shut it down.
Leftists are screaming into the night over having their taxpayer-funded piggy bank closed for business. Maybe they should take whatever money stuck to their fingers along the way – I would presume there has been much of that – and rush to leverage that remaining money by making can’t-miss Super Bowl bets, the better to fund more trans operas and comic books throughout the world.
Here is one man’s list of such safe bets they might want to consider booking.
Bet on there being more gratuitous shots of Taylor Swift in her luxury box than of President Trump, who also plans to attend the game.
Bet the 1000 over on the over/under regarding the number of fans around the nation being rushed to hospitals with uncontrollable nauseau over the Swift overkill.
Bet on the announcers to mention ball or balls at least 200 times, but never “big balls” as in the youthful DOGE guy of that screen name.
Bet no on the rumored prospect of Kansas City tight end Travis Kelce proposing to Swift during the coverage, either in-game or postgame.
Take the 50-1 odds that the people who stencil the platitudes on the field might screw up and plaster “Choose Racism” along the end zones, accidentaly conflating the preferred “Choose Love” virtue signal chosen to replace “End Racism.” Think of the hapless guy in the Snickers commercial painting “Chefs” in the end zone instead of “Chiefs,” and the resulting amusement of Chiefs head coach Andy Reid.
Bet that one of the announcers will slip up verbally and refer to the Chiefs as the Swifts.
Bet on the Chiefs to get at least one favorable officiating call that leaves unbiased observers scratching their heads.
Bet on the halftime show to last long enough to order Chinese food or pizza at its outset and have it delivered before the second half begins.
Bet on at least one video review lasting longer than the National Anthem.
Bet on “three-peat” being mentioned more than 50 times.
Bet on Tom Brady saying “pardon me” or “excuse me” at least 10 times.
Bet on Trump posting on social media during the game that he’s denying NFL commissioner Roger Goodell’s security clearance, and hitting NFL teams with 100 percent tariffs if they play in lavish stadiums paid for by taxpayers.
Bet on Trump also posting a proposal for a new NFL franchise in Gaza.
Bet on Trump posting, should the Chiefs lose, that Kamala supporter Swift backed yet another loser.
Most of all, bet on the Swifts (Chiefs) to win, because that’s the only outcome acceptable to the NFL.
Sam Ross Jr's site 