Canada, our northern neighbor with an inferiority complex the size of, well, Canada, is a continuing source of amusement amidst tariffs and President Trump trolling these insecure types about becoming our 51st state.
Their pitiful pushback began with the Canadians booing our National Anthem as played before 4 Nations Faceoff contests, as well as regular-season and Stanley Cup playoff NHL games involving franchises from both countries.
This protest didn’t do anything of note. A Canada-based franchise still has not won the Stanley Cup since 1993, way back when Bill Clinton was years removed from soiling blue dresses with semen, Sears and Roebuck still had a catalog operation, along with a huge chain of retail stores, and X-Files was debuting on TV.
Canada Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was still holding the job – barely – last year, and since has given way to Mark “The Carnival Barker” Carney. But still there are hard feelings up north, with some delusional types suggesting they might slug it out militarily with the United State. That’s a big mistake unlikely to unfold. Perhaps they saw some Iran footage that cooled their ardor.
Somewhere along the way, I missed the outbreak and fighting of a ketchup war. Growing up, the only friction regarding this condiment was between those who called it catsup and those preferring ketchup. For the most part, ketchup has won that skirmish.
I only became aware of this current ketchup conflict while watching a baseball game between the New York Yankees and the Toronto Blue Jays Wednesday. This was made possible because DISH is having a free preview of its Major League Baseball package. I won’t pay for it, but free is good.
Of great importance to the story, this game was being played in Toronto. Early on, with a runner on first base, the camera kept panning to the runner. Behind him, on the low wall separating fans from playing field, was a message between a pair of Heinz logos. Read the message: Canadian Ketchup. Made with Canadian tomatoes.”
Later, I saw similar messages farther down the right-field line, with Heinz logos.
This caught my attention. Curious about it all, and unwilling to wait for a news conference as too many current media members do, I commited some journalism and researched the story.
The background is that little Trudeau, taking a break from prancing around in blackface and making lives miserable in Canada last year, had accused Heinz of selling ketchup in Canada made in the U.S. Trudeau was threatening ketchup tarrifs on that All-American condiment, although I understand some say salsa has supplanted it in popularity here. I guess Biden sneaked more illegals into this country than we had imagined.
Heinz, the once-proud Pittsburgh based company that now is part of Kraft Foods, fired back at Trudeau (figuratively, of course) pointing out that, with the exception of 2015-2020, Heinz has made its ketchup for Canada, in Canada, for about 100 years. That is in Quebec and the tomatoes are sourced from Ontario.
But, but, but, protested the butt-hurt Canadians, some Heinz ketchup bottles for purchase in their land say Product of USA on the labels.
And Kraft Heinz replied that only when demand outstrips the capacity of the Quebec plant, or in the case of some speciality ketchups not made in Canada, does USA ketchup leave stains on the Great White North.
This charge and countercharge was transpiring late last year and early this.
But, judging from the signs at the ballgame, the battle for the hearts and minds, not to mention wallets and stomachs, of Canadian ketchup consumers continues to be waged.
As an aside, the way the Yankees choked away the game in comical, error-prone fashion, TV coverage of the ketchup war might have been more entertaining than the baseball game.
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