Lime green dildos are flying onto the courts during WNBA games and the mind races to comprehend.
We read that the gals of the league are as disgusted by this as they are by their pay levels.
Color me amused by it all. Let us count the reasons.
With Caitlin Clark sidelined with yet another injury, the flying dildos have become the most watchable aspect of the games.
From the conspiracy department, could Clark be the one behind this, feeling the need to serve up something for people to talk about while she recovers?
Since both dildos seemed to be the same garish green color, do we have a serial dildo thrower on our hands? Should dildos be banned from private ownership and should there be restrictions on their size?
One of the dildo throwers reportedly was caught and banned for a year. This seems like a reward to me. I’m surprised the guy didn’t beg for a liftime ban.
Are we sure these dildos didn’t just fall out of players’ shorts? Recall a similar event when an errant wig left a player’s head during the game, prompting her to retrieve it like a dead possum along the side of the road, and rush off court to the dressing room with the thing.
Is this an attempt by some benefactor to pay the players what they deserve, as asked for by those whiny T-shirts worn at the league All-Star game?
Why do the people removing these items from the playing surface treat them like a combination improvised explosive device/piece of dog crap? Check out the videos with people kicking them, prodding them with a broom, jumping away from them, and finally cradling them in towels for removal.
How long before a sports drink comes out with an ad using a green dildo and asking Is it in you?
Online gambling was providing betting action on the color of the next dildo to be thrown onto the court during a WNBA game, but green was off the board.
As amusing as the green dildos by themselves, is the hysterical over-reaction to it by the self-appointed PC types.
The poor young ladies, being forced to put up with this. Oh, the humanity! But, considering the population of lesbians in the league, this could be an educational experience for many players.
I had forgotten that dildos being thrown onto a sport’s playing area is something of a tradition among Buffalo Bills fans, when facing the New England Patriots. Hat tip to my cousin for reminding me, and providing a link.
Those NFL sex toys have been a more pedestrian caucasian skin tone, with one being mis-identified as a banana by CBS announcers.
I’m thinking the WNBA should embrace their green dildos — figuratively speaking, of course.
Pirates fans will recall legendary announcer Bob Prince, who collaborated with team trainer Danny Whelan to conjure up the Green Weenie during the 1966 season.
The original was a green rubber hot dog, supposedly getting its start when wielded by Whelan from the Pirates’ dugout to jinx an opposing relief pitcher.
Beginning the next year and running through 1974, a plastic rattle version was produced by a Pittsburgh plastics company, with a brief revival in 1989. I’m pretty sure I’ve got one of the 1989 versions in my sports memorabilia pile.
The lore was the Green Weenie could be pointed at the opposition to hex them, or at Pirates players to imbue them with mythical strength and abilities.
The Pirates did win a World Series title in 1971.
Perhaps WNBA players could wave green dildos at ownership and encourage them to show them the green – pay the help more. Just forget the unpleasant reality that the league loses money faster than a Stephen COAL BEAR late night talk show.
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