Those of us on the political right, what used to be the vast majority in this country, a loose grouping of races, religions and (two) genders sharing traditional values and common sense, now sit around and marvel about those on the left, who seemingly have lost touch with any and all of that.
Democrats mostly, these leftist zealots find themselves championing violence, crime, illegal immigration, men beating up on women in women’s sports, general sexual ambiguity and any anti-religious, anti-social, anti-family, anti-humanity cause of the moment.
Of late, we have the glaring examples like Jimmy Kimmel, the late-night ABC talk host now on indefinite suspension after ABC affiliates rebelled against running any more of his left-wing rants and, probably more significantly, the FCC was going to look into Kimmel’s lastest blatant lies, those being that Charlie Kirk’s assassin was a MAGA type.
In reality, the man arrested as the killer is a deranged leftist hooked up with a trans lover/roomate. MAGA, indeed.
And this brings us to ABC (same network, of course) reporter Matt Gutman, whose reporting on the alleged assassin’s court hearing was stunk up with Gutman’s observations of how touching the love story was.
That Gutman seemed to include quotes that were not in the texts read aloud in court is just the icing on the cake of leftist propaganda.
Unlike Kimmel, Gutman apparently needs the job, and so rushed to social media to apologize. It was the typical non-apology. He’s sorry we in the viewing public, likely slobbering MAGA types, were too stupid to understand his noble commentary on the matter. So, if we were offended, he’s sorry we’re idiots.
Some have said Kimmel and Gutman are products of living in figurative bubbles, in which they only associate with similarly ideologically blind types. They wouldn’t understand the difference between good and evil if evil swatted them in the face while kicking them in their – presumably small – gonads.
It got me wondering what Kimmel and Gutman might have said if they encountered each other in an ABC lunch room.
KIMMEL: “Good bit on the Kirk killer. I wish you’ve have called me, I had the best title for it. Two males, one transitioning to female, roommates, lovers. I’m thinking “Romeo and Julius. If we wanted to turn it into a porno flick, the roommate has the perfect name, Lance Twiggs!”
GUTMAN: “Man, I should have called you. Damn. Too late now. Those meanies in upper management have urged me to apologize. What a drag (I don’t mean cross-dressing types). But they promised me if I just did a public mea culpa they would keep me on to continue furthering our agenda.”
KIMMEL: “Yeah, they want me to apologize, too. I’m not going to do it. I don’t care about the mountain of evidence to the contrary, I was right, the kid was and is MAGA. Being Kimmel means you never have to say you’re sorry. No sir, no apologies, just cry a lot and bore the viewers with yet more political screeds. Well, I guess not for awhile now, but, I’ll be back.”
GUTMAN: “Let’s face it, you can afford to make a stand, you’ve been milking the ABC cow for a lot of money through the years. I’m even more of an untalented nobody than you, so I need the bucks. Plus, this name of mine makes it tough. Older people think I’m that fat guy from The Maltese Falcon (Casper Gutman) and young people think I’m that Fox creep (Greg Gutfeld).”
KIMMEL: “Yeah, I’m pretty lucky. Kimmel is a non-descript last name, with no really famous people or characters using it. Come to think of it, Kimmel is the perfect last name for me.”
GUTMAN: “I’m just glad I bended the knee, kissed the hem of the robe, you know, folded like a tent in a hurricane to save my job. I’ve got so many great ideas. Jeffrey Dahmer, sure he was a serial killer who practiced cannibalism and necrophilia, but you could argue he was a model for the Atkins diet and other no-carb regimens. Plus, I understand he was kind to animals. Touching, don’t you think?”
KIMMEL: “I like it. Maybe do some research and find out Hitler wrote nice letters to his mother, or Stalin worked in soup kitchens during his spare time. Even if you don’t discover redeeming qualities in those psychopaths, just make it up like I did about the shooter being MAGA.”
GUTMAN: “That’s gold, man. Maybe I should do a deep dive into Donald Trump, noting neither he, nor his followers are Nazis, Fascists or crazed types in general, but just patriots who want the country to prosper?
KIMMEL: “Get away from me, you MAGA creep. I hope you die!”
Sam Ross Jr's site 