Inspiration is where you find it. Example: The inspiration for this blog post on names came while watching the Minnesota Twins play baseball the other day.
On that Twins roster was outfielder James Outman. Out Man, an ironic name for a player of a game which is delineated in outs made. If you are the out man, making outs whenever and wherever, well, that’s not a good thing, at least when you are batting.
It’s sort of like former Pirates pitcher Bob Walk. Pitchers strive mightily not to dispense walks, the so-called free passes that so often come back to bite. Yet, here was a successful pitcher named Walk.
Some names fit the player and his or her circumstance. Foremost among these is Johnstown’s own Steve Smear, former star defensive lineman at Penn State and in the Canadian Football League. A football defender named Smear, that’s a natural.
With all due respect to Gertrude Stein (A rose is a rose is a rose) and William Shakespeare (A rose by any other name would smell as sweet), sometimes a name does make a difference, either by being the antithesis of the individual’s circumstance, or by affirming it. Either way, it provides amusement.
Sometimes, we just take these oddities for granted. I recall when a sports writer from the Philadelphia area joined the staff at what has become the Johnstown Woke Gazette and he was amused by how many families locally we had named Boring or Dull.
I’d never really thought about it, but he had a point.
And now, let us proceed with a list of my favorite name oddities.
Imagine a placekicker named Blew It(t). Pitt had one, Chris Blewitt, from 2013 through 2016. Belying his name, Chris ended his college career second on Pitt’s all-time list for field goals made,.
Sometimes names conspire to provide the amusement. I recall the time in the mid-1960s when the Pirates were playing the Philadelphia Phillies and the bottom of the Phillies batting order, much to the joy of Pirates announcer Bob Prince, was first baseman (Bill) WHITE, shortstop (Bobby) WINE and pitcher (John) BOOZER.
A female swimmer, who won Olympic gold, fittingly was and is named Misty Hyman.
The Pirates had an outfielder for a few seasons in the late 1930s named Johnny Dickshot. As if that weren’t bad enough, his self-appointed nickname was “Ugly.”
Outfielder Milton Bradley played in the Major Leagues for more than a decade beginning in 2000, but was more notable for his off-field legal problems and on-field gaffes, the latter including the time he threw a live ball into the stands thinking he’d recorded the third out of the inning. Blame the parents, perhaps, for sticking him with the name of the famous game company. Perhaps if they’d gone with Hasbro, or Mattel it would have worked out better?
Fair Hooker was a poor wide receiver for the Cleveland Browns in the early 1970s, recording just 129 catches in five seasons.
General Booty (General Axel Booty, actually), whose name sounds like a 101 level class in Gender Studies, is a vagabond of a quarterback. He is reported to have attended four high schools (two each in California and Texas), one junior college and two colleges (including Oklahoma for two seasons). Current whereabouts are unknown.
Last, because it’s nearly lunch time, we have Coy Bacon, the pass-rushing defensive end Steelers fans might recall from his multiple seasons with the Cincinnati Bengals in the late 1970s. His given name was Lander McCoy Bacon, shortened to Coy.
Bacon survived a drug-related shooting in 1986 that left him critically injured and became a born-again Christian. If he had a sense of humor, considering his last name, he’d have become a Muslim.
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