Author Archives: Sam Ross Jr.

Blind allegiance to the religion of analytics is harming sports.

There is nothing wrong with basic statistical analysis, in any aspect of life. But, when it is taken to the extreme and viewed as infallible, that’s when the problems begin.

It was only natural that we’d get to this point. Nothing succeeds like excess, in personal life and in sports.

Many trace the birth of the analytic movement to the Oakland A’s and the Moneyball concept, in which extreme reliance on statistical measurement allowed a small-market, limited-budget franchise to win more than its share of games.

It is important to note, however, that the philosophy never produced much in the way of postseason success and more important, ZERO championships.

A lot of the current analytics stress is on taking outsized chances, like swinging for homeruns almost every at-bat in baseball, or trying to convert fourth-down opportunities an inordinately high amount of times in football.

For a real-world example of how such things can fail catastrophically, consider the case of Long Term Capital Management, which nearly brought down the financial system in 1998.

After producing outsized gains in its first three years, Long Term Capital lost $4.6 billion in four months of 1998, necessitating a bailout.

The high-leverage strategy (investing multiples of actual capital) worked until it didn’t. That and failing to consider unlikely, but possible negative outcomes, doomed Long Term and almost the entire system.

Move to sports and the failures of analytics have been on stark display recently, if one bothers to look.

It is no mere coincidence that we’ve seen the two longest scoreless games in the entire history of postseason baseball just in the past week.

First, Cleveland and Tampa Bay set a standard when they went into the 14^th inning scoreless in Game 2 of their AL Wild Card Series.

The home-run or bust strategy didn’t produce a score until the 15^th inning, when Cleveland won on a solo shot by Oscar Gonzalez.

Just two days back, the Houston Astros and Seattle Mariners went into the 18^th inning scoreless, re-setting the record. This one also ended with a solo homer.

That game was an excruciating viewing experience as batters continued to overswing, chase pitches out of the strike zone and generally try to end the game with one swing instead of taking a walk, hitting behind a runner, or doing any of the other things teams used to do to squeeze out a run in a tight, low-scoring game.

On Sunday, a highly anticipated NFL game between Super Bowl contenders Buffalo and Kansas City became a showcase for extreme analytics overuse.

Buffalo, trailing 7-3 in the second quarter, passed an a short field-goal attempt and instead tried to convert a fourth-and-goal from the KC 3-yard line, failing miserably.

Undaunted, with the score tied 17-17 early in the fourth quarter, Buffalo went on fourth-and-3 at the KC 46-yard line, and failed yet again.

Blessed with great field position, the Chiefs had to move just 28 yards before hitting the go-ahead field goal to lead 20-17.

Yes, Buffalo scored a late touchdown to win, 24-20, and along the way converted a fourth-and-1 from its 33-yard line with under four minutes remaining. But this last fourth-down gamble made sense because of the stage of the game, the score, and the shorter distance to make a first down.

It could be argued that the late heroics would not have been necessary if Buffalo had not passed on a field-goal try earlier, and not later handed KC a three-point opportunity with the second failed fourth-down conversion try from near midfield.

If Buffalo had resisted the analytics siren call, the Bills already would have been up based on that six-point swing.

The analytic overkill in sports these day ignores two salient points.

One, sports are contested by humans, who can ride momentum, adrenaline, emotion, to performances that defy the statistics.

Two, being an analytics daredevil is akin to walking a tightrope with no safety net. One big splat on the pavement more than outweighs any previous successes.

I hear some Penn State fans are stunned by the crushing defeat Saturday at the hands of Michigan, a 41-17 spectacle that was not as close as the final score indicated. They shouldn’t be shocked.

These fans, who spend selected fall Saturdays chanting “We are” and answering “Penn State,” easily could have seen this coming if they cared to examine past and present. Let us explain it to them in a format they might understand.

We are . . . 2-14 against Top 10 competition under coach James Franklin, he of the decade-long contract extension based, apparently, on losing big games consistently.

We are . . . undisciplined, as Joey Porter Jr.’s early game personal foul penalty and numerous other miscues by Penn State players demonstrated.

We are . . . lucky to be ranked so highly (No. 10 ahead of this game) considering a lack of impressive victories, but that will change when the latest polls are announced.

We are . . . fortunate to be in contention at halftime of this Michigan game considering the lopsided nature of the offensive statistics.

We are . . . quarterbacked by Sean Clifford (The Big Red Shirt, Not Dog) who might qualify for Social Security before running out of eligibility.

We are . . . according to victorious Michigan players, boastful on social media and in the tunnel to the dressing rooms at halftime, but mute on the field.

We are . . . blessed with a new defensive coordinator, identified by sycophantic network broadcasters early in the game as the right fit for Penn State, which presumably explains surrendering 418 rushing yards and 41 points.

We are . . . unlikely ever again to contend seriously for a Big Ten title or National Championship unless both Michigan and Ohio State are put on probation — permanently.

We are . . . very likely going to absorb a similar pounding when Ohio State comes visiting in two weeks.

We are . . . able to beat Ohio University and Central Michigan, just not the two top-dog schools from those states. Michigan State tends to be a struggle, too.

We are . . . destined once again to ship off at season’s end to a lower-tier bowl game, where coach Franklin will bask in adulation over yet another successful season — if you don’t count the Michigan and Ohio State games — and will be awarded a contract extension in perpetuity.

The big news today is COLA.

Not Coca-Cola. Not Pepsi-Cola.

We’re talking COLA as in Cost Of Living Adjustment for recipients of Social Security.

Clueless Joe Biden’s mishandling of domestic energy production, coupled with macroeconomic and microeconomic issues, some of which are beyond his control, have conspired to produce inflation running at rates not seen in the past 40 years.

That was confirmed by yet another uncomfortable inflation report issued today.

Social Security payments are indexed to inflation, and so for 2023 those payments will rise 8.7 percent, the largest increase in more than four decades.

The fact that the government admits 8.7 percent means the inflation you are witnessing likely is much higher.

Still, the increase, which means the average recipient will receive an extra $140 or so per month, will help ease the pain.

Also, there will be a modest decrease in the Part B Medicare premium, dropping $5.20 from $170.10 per month in 2022 to $164.90 in 2023.

Now, for the negative of it all.

Despite all of Al Gore’s ridiculous talk in the past about a Social Security lockbox, all there is to pay the obligations is a pile of federal IOUs.

These increased payouts only will shorten the time for which those imaginary assets will be able to fund fully Social Security payments, which had been calculated to end in 2037.

What happens then? The working plan is the federal government will just issue more debt and kick the proverbial can down the road.

A problem occurs when if by that time the U.S. government is perceived as not being creditworthy and so cannot borrow the sufficient funds to paper over the shortfall.

On an individual basis, there could be negative federal tax implications before that owing to this COLA. The complicated tax policy for Social Security benefits sets income cutoff points under which the benefits are not subject to tax. This COLA increase could be enough to push many recipients into the category of having some or all of there benefits in the taxable category.

Bottom line: Enjoy the fizz of the COLA while understanding that it could cause some gaseous discomfort down the line.

You would be most welcome, Tulsi Gabbard, to join the Republican party.

Gabbard, who formally parted ways with Democrats earlier this week, has too much common sense, too much respect for the traditional values that built this country, too much overall integrity, to be aligned with that party of hypocrisy, Wokeism, open borders, and handouts for all in the name of purchasing votes.

Gabbard formerly was a member of Congress who has run for president as a Democrat, quickly being dispatched from that latter pursuit by the Democratic machine that didn’t like her independence from their hard-left pitch.

Gabbard is all that the Democrats profess to admire. She’s a non-white woman (Samoan), non-Christian (Hindu) and successful as measured by her political accomplishments. They were willing to overlook her military service, distinguished as it was.

But Gabbard ran afoul of Democratic puppet masters by decrying endless wars and adventurism. She was no fan of open borders and said as much.

For this, prominent Dems such as Shillary intimated that Gabbard was a Russian asset.

How the political world has flipped. Where once Republican Senator Joe McCarthy saw communists lurking under every bed, now Democrats’ kneejerk response to any and all critics is to paint them as Russian stooges.

They are just as wrong as McCarthy was. Perhaps, in the fullness of time, that will be realized. It is unlikely, though, because our public schools and universities are minting fresh crops of ill-informed leftists annually.

While Gabbard was running for president, I used her as an example of a Democrat for whom I could vote, even as a conservative Republican.

This is a pet peeve of mine: For all the Democratic pap about being the party of ideas, inclusiveness, tolerance, etc., Democrats simply never admit their candidate is inferior and vote for the Republican alternative.

On the other hand, on many occasions I have voted for the Democrat if that person was the superior choice.

To understand this blind allegiance that afflicts Democrats, know that even after Clueless Joe Biden has botched domestic and foreign policy in two short years, a majority of Democrats would vote for him again tomorrow.

Gabbard has been holding her nose and sticking with the Democrats for years. Now she has had enough, as she noted in her announcement, of their anti-white racial politics, constant warmongering, and unrelenting attack on American freedoms, the latter being something Gabbard fought to protect during the war in Iraq.

Congratulations to Gabbard for conceding the obvious, she does not agree with the the tenets of the Democratic policy.

Democratic West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin clearly identifies with the wrong party, although caving to Biden on the tax/climate bill has dropped Manchin’s support at home by 10 percentage points, giving him a solid Democratic look on that issue and second thoughts about running for another term.

If only RINO (Republican In Name Only) Senators Susan Collins (Maine) and Lisa Murkowski (Alaska) would drum up some courage and move to the party that more closely aligns with their policies.

We’re talking Democrat, although CCP would not be that much of a stretch.

Once an afterthought, Columbus Day has elevated itself onto my list of favorite holidays, if only due to the blatant hypocrisy on display here.

The politically correct crowd, which exists to whine ad nauseam about their latest cause (whatever happened to Black Lives Matter?), has browbeaten some states and cities into re-christening this Indigenous Peoples Day.

Clueless Joe Biden got into the act last year, with a proclamation decrying federal policies of the past that had done mean things. White folk are a bad lot, you understand. But don’t Blame Joe because, as he recently claimed, he’s Puerto Rican.

Joe is one addled aged guy

But it’s still kind of, sort of, really Columbus Day, honoring a guy critics label as the author of genocide and other nasty acts.

Federal offices, many schools and other institutions whose worker bees are overwhelmingly leftist Democrats, were all too happy to take yet another day off work, even if it was due to that Columbus dude.

Understand that fidelity to hypocrisy is the pledge one must take and abide by to remain a Democrat in good standing.

Might as well take advantage of a legitimate holiday by any name, instead of calling in sick or just going through the motions when on the job these days, a reality much to the horror of traditional Democrats, some of which I chatted with at a car cruise Sunday night.

How do I know such worker malaise is going on in various non-private industry workplaces?

Ask me about my difficulty getting mail – specifically weekly ads desired by the woman of the house – delivered by our rotating cast of mail people.

A formal complaint lodged by me – online, of course, because no one answers the telephone – worked for exactly one week. The exasperated supervisory type with whom I spoke when he responded by telephone, lamented the inability to get motivated workers.

And I ask, how motivated must one be to match the address on an envelope or mailer with the address on a house?

Ask me about the glacier pace in dealing with Pennsylvania government regarding my deceased mother. They want responses from me immediately if not sooner.

Their responses must be aged like fine wine, or whine as it were.

Ask me about trying to call any agency, be it federal, state or local, and actually getting a warm body with a live voice instead of an electronic phone tree voice on the other end of the line.

The joke is there’s nothing wrong with government that more paid holidays — more days with workers away from their cubicles — could not cure.

In that spirit, I truly hope all the left-wing hypocrites enjoyed yet another day off work today, even if it did come with that Columbus taint.

Now that the Steelers have been edged out by the Buffalo Bills, 38-3 Sunday, it looks like a postseason presence is as much a pipe dream for the Steelers this year as it has been for the Pirates – year after year after year.

It remains for the Penguins to give fans of Pittsburgh pro sports franchises hopes to watch the home team play beyond the regular season – admittedly in the watered-down NHL variation in which a full one-half of the teams (16 of 32) make the Stanley Cup playoffs.

But beggars can’t be choosers and the pro sports scene in Pittsburgh these days is bleak, so being in the top 50 percent of anything is something.

Never mind that the network television announcers for the Steelers-Bills game seemed to be making a Hall of Fame case for rookie quarterback Kenny Pickett. Let’s wait for the Steelers to win a game or so under his leadership before we call Canton.

What ails the 1-4 Steelers is obvious – a talent deficit. Without oft-injured T.J. Watt, the defense is eunuch-like.

When Buffalo muffed the opening kickoff and was pinned deep in Bills territory, playing into a stiff breeze, the overmatched defense yielded a 98-yard touchdown pass.

But, despite all the praise for Pickett, the 3-point scoring total was the lowest for the Steelers since the 2019 opener against serial tormenter New England.

The 35-point differential made this the worst loss in the career of Mike Tomlin as Steelers coach.

The Steelers offensive line is mediocre. Once upon a time the Steelers could run the football. Not anymore.

And pass protection becomes a chore when the offense is one-dimensional.

Dare we say the coaching is at times uninspiring, too?

Although injuries and uneven play have combined to make some of the upcoming opponents seem not as daunting as they appeared to be just a few weeks back, it’s safe to say the Steelers are good picks to lose four or five of their next six games.

At least the Penguins open their regular season Thursday to provide some diversion.

Meanwhile, fans can amuse themselves by watching all the ex-Pirates performing in the Major League Baseball postseason.

Sunday night, San Diego’s starting pitcher in the decisive NL wild-card game was Joe Musgrove, who once toed the pitching rubber in a Pirates uniform. Power-hitting Padres designated hitter Josh Bell is another former Pirate.

The New York Mets had chubby Daniel Vogelbach, who played 72 games for the Pirates this season, as their DH. Outfielder Starling Marte is yet another former Pirate wearing a Mets uniform. Pitcher Trevor Williams is on the Mets roster, but not the postseason list.

Gerrit Cole, who has been tabbed to start game one of the ALDS for the New York Yankees, pitched for the Pirates from 2013 through 2017.

Charlie Morton, yet another ex-Pirates pitcher, went 9-6 for Atlanta’s Braves this season.

One Pittsburgh media guy counted 18 former Pirates on the rosters of this year’s MLB postseason teams and that seems right.

It’s a veritable all-star team of former Pirates, indicating that if the cheapskate ownership was willing to pay some of these guys to stick around, those postseason absences would be less frequent and shorter in duration.

Then again, if your aunt had testicles, she’d be your uncle.

Consider the choke, the inelegant — but descriptive — term for failing to produce under pressure.

Most often used to describe collapses in the sporting world, the choke also is a regular visitor to the real world, particularly in politics.

Let us begin with sports and the ongoing choke of monumental proportions as is being authored by the New York Mets.

These Mets managed to blow a 10 1/2-game lead over Atlanta and lose the NL East Division on a tiebreaker.

The Mets then slinked into the NL wild-card round, where they were blown out in Game 1 by San Diego and could see their dog of season end with a loss in Game 2 of this best-of-3 series today.

There is irony in this Mets collapse because the 1969 “Miracle Mets” saw Chicago’s Cubs lose a 9 1/2-game lead in mid-August. This time the choke was quite satisfying to the Mets and their partisans – the stuff of legends.

Many years later, the Mets won Game 6 of the 1986 World Series when Boston first baseman Bill Buckner choked and let a ball roll between his legs, allowing the winning run to score for the Mets.

The Mets then won Game 7 to complete their Series comeback and produce a world championship.

But the Mets do have something of a pedigree of being the chokers, having blown late-season division leads in both 2007 and 2008, becoming the first Major League Baseball operation ever to squander September leads of at least 3 ½ games in consecutive seasons.

At least when sports teams choke it doesn’t put the nation in peril. Not so when it is politicians having difficulty rising to the occasion.

Begin with Clueless Joe Biden grasping at straws to try to buy votes for Democrats in the upcoming mid-term elections.

Biden’s fist-bumping Saudi buddies are leading a cut in OPEC oil production, despite the Clueless One’s much ballyhooed promise that he’d reached a deal on the matter – for greater production, not a cut.

Biden’s response is to make noises about further draining the Strategic Petroleum Reserve by feeding oil into the markets to attempt to hold down oil prices by government intervention. Good luck with that.

Biden, who formerly was making the rounds taking credit for declining gasoline prices, now takes no credit for prices being once again on the rise.

Instead, he tries to deal with rogue state Venezuela, freeing convicted felons in order to get some Americans freed and, dare we suggest, more Venezuelan oil shipped here.

Yet Biden hectors American petroleum companies by denying them the ability to expand production and threatens refiners and gas station owners should they raise gasoline prices, despite rising oil costs. Biden seems to be unable to comprehend that private companies, unlike federal governments, can’t just expand the deficit to paper over operating losses.

Inability to function well under pressure, that’s Clueless Joe’s second most notable affliction.

Those looming mid-term elections have produced a shotgun approach to pandering to voters from Clueless Joe. Student loan forgiveness? You got it. Marijuana legalization? Stand by.

Hunter’s shady dealings? Nothing to see here.

Just vote the Big D, says The Big Guy.

Clueless Joe has a lot of company on the choking front from his Democratic comrades, particularly on the subject of porous borders and illegal immigrants.

All of a sudden, mayors in New York City and Washington, D.C., as well as high-profile twits such as AOC, and the elite at Martha’s Vineyard, find it impossible to deal with small numbers of those illegals being transported to their locales.

Imagine if they actually had to deal with thousands of illegals streaming across the border daily.

Now that the lack of border security is their problem, not someone else’s alone, they are long on hyperventilation and short on solutions.

They are gagging like so many present-day Bill Buckners.

Quick hits as I contemplate a Biden regime talking about awarding hurricane relief in Florida with racial bias, as in whites need not apply.

• Newt Gingrich, former speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, was on Fox News this morning, again calling out the “Biden Crime Family.” It’s a recurring theme, with author Peter Schweizer putting out a book on the Bidens, “Profiles In Corruption.” And yet the Bidens never take this all to court, where there could be a full accounting of why such claims are wrong – or are on the money.

• I hung up my “Let’s Go Brandon” banner on the porch yesterday, strategically placed over a set of end windows so it can be read easily by people driving either direction on the street. I had toyed with the idea of displacing the American Flag, but opted for this placement for now.

• Hate to rain on the parade of all the supporters of Dr. Oz in the Pennsylvania Senate race or Doug Mastriano’s campaign for Pennsylvania governor, but the unofficial indicator of yard signs indicates both races are lost to the Republicans. Understand this unofficial indicator presaged a Trump win in his first presidential run. Hope I’m wrong, but . . .

• During Gingrich’s Fox appearance he also held firm in expecting the Republicans to pick up 20-50 House seats and as many as seven Senate seats. The first seems plausible. The second is unlikely in the extreme.

• Gold and silver rallied big on Monday and Tuesday – giving back a chunk in premarket action Wednesday — but the precious metals are said to be sniffing out a change in policy from our Federal Reserve on the subject of interest rates and monetary policy. Already central banks in England, Japan and Australia, to name a few, have walked back their tough talk as economies and markets teeter. If our Fed blowhards blink, the inflation you’ve seen to date will be dwarfed by what’s to come.

• Gasoline prices have begun to tick upward again both nationally and in my area. I saw a 10-cent increase at one chain, so I quickly filled up the Kia at another, where the increase was yet to be posted. Oil is ramping upward in price and OPEC is re-asserting its control of pricing, despite the supposed promise Clueless Joe got from his fist bump with the Saudis.

• What a coincidence that three of the first four people arrested for looting in Florida following the hurricane were illegal immigrants.

• Our national debt is ticking toward $32 trillion, about $93,000 per person or $238,000 per taxpayer. This is the underlying cause of inflation that manipulating interest rates or money supply can’t cure. Clueless Joe rushing to buy votes with handouts only worsens the problem.

• Clueless Joe also supposedly told a left-wing toady that he will run for president again in 2024. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton is floating trial balloons that she could run yet again. The only thing scarier than either intellectual lightweight running for president is that the combination of our moronic electorate and creative vote counters would mean either likely wins.

We’ve slipped into October, the heart of football season.

It’s entirely fitting that when sportswriter Grantland Rice composed his immortal lead about Notre Dame’s Four Hourseman backfield, its members were “outlined against a blue, gray October sky.”

October is the month when we’ve begun to separate pretenders from contenders. It’s the change of weather – at least here in the north – and a time to bundle up while taking stock of a season already under way for more than a month.

Begin with the pros. The Steelers lost again today, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Steelers partisans, known for their fine whines, will lament the late call that awarded the New York Jets a touchdown – correctly – despite an apparent fumble.

The truth is, the Jets did all they could to lose the game, especially by botching the end of the first half, costing themselves a field goal and handing the Steelers a field goal. And still the Steelers couldn’t get it done.

Steelers coach Mike Tomlin, winner of an Omar Epps look-alike contest, just might be on his way to his first losing season. The Steelers are 1-3 and have to end this month by facing Buffalo, Tampa Bay, Miami and Philadelphia.

Could 1-7 be in the cards?

Already this season the Steelers have proven they can’t beat New England, even with Tom Brady gone. They might soon show they can’t beat Brady playing for Tampa Bay, either.

They also can’t seem to win without the presence of oft-injured T.J. Watt on defense.

Things are looking bleak for the Steelers. But their woes pale in comparison to a pair of area high school football programs that can lay claim to being the most uncompetitive in their classes across the state.

Begin with Class AAAA Johnstown, 0-6 and having been outscored 280-26 over that stretch. That’s a minus-254 point differential.

I searched the Maxpreps web site and according to their statistics only East Stroudsburg North has a worse point deficit among Class AAAA schools, coming in at minus-274 (46 points scored and 320 allowed). But, somehow, East Stroudsburg has a reported 1-5 record.

Give the nod for futility to Johnstown.

Somerset is challenging for the least competitive program in Class AAA. The Golden Eagles are 0-6 and have been outscored 299-54, a minus-245 differential.

DuBois Collegiate Academy, 0-7, has been outscored 271-14, a minus-257.

Give DuBois the edge with one more loss and a greater points deficit. But Somerset is a worthy challenger.

If you are wondering how bad a Johnstown-Somerset game might be, you are in luck. The two teams are scheduled to play Oct. 14 at Somerset.

I think I might make the drive that night to see history. How often does one get to see two of the worst programs in the state on the same field?

I can only imagine what Grantland Rice would have to say about that one.

It is called voting with your feet and I fully intend to exercise that franchise in coming weeks. Farewell DISH Network.

I might go cable, streaming or just antenna TV, but I’m fed up with DISH and its constant drama.

Periodically, the satellite television provider, with whom I’ve been subscribed for maybe two decades, lies, overpromises and generally disappoints.

A common point of drama is that this channel or that is about to become unavailable. DISH attempts to paint the programming provider as the bad person and DISH as the good guys trying to keep my bill down by refusing requests for higher fees. Except that DISH bill increases all the time despite all this help from DISH.

The channel guide will have messages that so and so programming provider is about to withhold service and urges us to contact them to tell them we are upset. These people want paid, perhaps exorbitantly, for their programs. DISH says no.

But, do you honestly think DISH would continue to keep my TVs lit if I simply decided they are charging too much and refused to pay them?

I will give you a hint, two answers: No and Hell No.

Today, as a Welcome to October promotion, DISH stripped 20 Disney-affiliated channels from my service. No warning this time. Complain to Disney, they advise, because Disney wants too much money.

Understand we’re not just talking cartoon TV, but instead all ESPN channels, many conference sports channels, supposedly some local ABC stations, not to mention such outlets as National Geographic, various FX iterations, and others.

There was no forewarning, just an October surprise.

I didn’t try to contact Disney, but contacting DISH was an adventure.

Repeated calls to DISH were met with phone tree obfuscation and outright loss of my call.

I tried online chat, which first said closed until Monday, despite elsewhere on the page proudly proclaiming 7-days-a-week availability. Eventually, chat conceded it was open, but I was 904^th inline and would I care to wait? I did.

Meanwhile, I called the local cable company. But, as these things are these days, I got a guy in Virginia.

He was nice enough and emailed me some options.

I called my brother, an avid streamer, for advice on that path. He was not totally encouraging.

Eventually, after hours of waiting, the computer said I was sixth in line for chat, which was promptly marked down to 8^th in line.

At last I got a person – supposedly Michael – who offered me a $5 credit. This is a joke.

I lost 20 channels on a bill that I’m paid ahead to Oct. 20 on, so big deal. More galling, we constantly are told by DISH that ESPN and the like are high-cost channels.

Considering my bill pushes $140 a month, $5 is chicken(scratch) to lose 20 channels, many of them by DISH’s own reckoning being high-cost.

I conveyed my unhappiness with the $5, but Michael of chat said his limit was $5. I could, however, contact the Loyalty Team. He gave me a phone number and, when I asked for specifics, the assurance it was staffed currently, but also there would be a delay.

I called immediately and after an hour or so on hold, there was a click, I said hello, and the call had ended.

This, for the uninitiated, is what passes for customer service at DISH.

I might try again next week, during my call to cancel my service effective Oct. 20.

There are not a lot of great options, but sometimes it’s enough to feel better simply because you’ve stopped hitting yourself on the head with a hammer.

Perhaps the wife and I — plus grandkids — can go back, a la Abraham Lincoln, to reading books by the light of the fireplace.

Now if only I had a fireplace!