It’s one week until mid-term elections and the air is full of the reverberations of crashing narratives.

For our purposes, a narrative is a tale tailored to convey a viewpoint, without regard to accuracy or veracity.

Just today, it was heartening that no less a source than Greenpeace, the organization that would be happiest if the only humans left walking this Earth were these tree-hugging, whale-protecting, climate crazies, threw in the towel on plastic recycling.

The quick synopsis of the Greenpeace news release is that recycling plastic fails because it’s tough to collect the stuff, even tougher to sort, often environmentally harmful to recycle, frequently is contaminated with toxic materials and it’s not economic.

They could have started with the last point, but why spoil their fun?

I got a course in recycling when our tiny borough just gave up on it a few years back. We’d dutifully trekked to the containers every other week, filling the appropriate bins and reaping a slight benefit in terms of paying lower bills for trash pickup.

The borough tried to pass the buck to the residents for canceling the program, saying too many people were not putting materials in proper bins. The real truth is that since so many communities were recycling, the supply of recycled materials was up and the price paid for same was down.

It’s Economics 101. Price usually is hostage to supply and demand.

I suspect that not that many years down the line, hardcore environmentalists will drop their narrative that electric vehicles are environmentally friendly.

That friendliness is only true if you discount the fact they must be recharged – a lot – and the electricity to do so often is fairly environmentally unfriendly in its generation.

Add in the negative impact of mining for metals and various minerals to build the cars, and the recycling nightmare of the battery packs and other aspects of electric vehicles when they no longer are viable, and it’s a loser waiting for the Greenies to ditch the narrative.

Nowhere are narratives more rampant and ridiculous than in politics.

In a week – longer if your state is like Pennsylvania with incompetent election management – we should know the shelf life of many narratives.

They are, in no particular order:

The electorate cares not about inflation, but wants to punish those Jan. 6 protesters.

Or, never mind inflation, what really matters to voters is whether the federal government can ram abortion law down the throats of the nation instead of letting states pass their own legislation.

Sure, recent polls show up to 80 percent of the respondents putting crime at the top of the list regarding problems plaguing the country, but what people really want is for all MAGA types to be imprisoned.

In a similar vein, forget those images of rampant border incursions, or the statistical admission that this is the worst year for such since records began to be kept, what this nation’s voters actually want is more Woke, socialist, left-wing zealots in all phases of government and education.

It’s not that John Fetterman is looking to be short on physical and mental competency to hold a Senate office, it’s that the NBC info babe who opined as much after an interview (and before Fetterman’s zombie-like debate performance) should be fired.

And, last, it’s been posted in The Atlantic, the combination left-wing propaganda rag and trial balloon launch center, that all the over-reaching, self-righteous, pompous and hypocritical tin-pot tyrant bureaucrats who made a mess of Coronavirus measures, should not be held accountable for their ridiculously Draconian measures. Forgive and forget, exactly what they were unwilling to do.

Wear a protective hat should you be going out in coming days, lest you be injured when hit on the head by the debris of these crashing narratives.

Quick hits on a variety of topics:

• It’s actually Halloween today, but like so many other holidays, this has turned into a multi-day celebration. The grandkids already had a treat stop at mommy’s workplace last Thursday, a parade and party at preschool Friday, a trunk-or-treat session downtown Saturday, a trunk-or-treat and dinner at a church Sunday, and tonight is the traditional go-door-to-door-and-collect-candy-from-the-residents-night.

• When I find myself envious of all this and wishing I’d been born later, I correct that thinking by injecting the reality of our present Woke, gender-bender, race-baiting and generally hypocritical society. I’m glad I’m no kid having to deal with all that.
• I understand we live in statistically unlikely times, witness the 2020 presidential vote counting. But I’m thinking it’s unlikely in the extreme that the Philadelphia Phillies can continue to cede 5-0 leads to Houston and win the World Series. That the Phillies are 1-1 in games they trailed 5-0 so far is incredible.
• Speaking of elections and the statistically incredible, our own Pennsylvania vote counters are preparing the populace for another one of those delayed decisions in which the vote total for Dr. Oz in the Senate race is pretty much quantified, then overnight results from Philadelphia and the counting of mail in ballots – which favor Democrats 4-1 in terms of registration (even if those ballots are not proper in terms of dates or persons supposedly submitting them) — push Fetterguy over the top.
• Now that Penn State and coach “Genius” James Franklin have gotten the guaranteed losses to Michigan and Ohio State out of the way, the team can return to the Sisters of the Poor portion of its schedule, win a lot of meaningless games, and proclaim greatness.
• Credit Penn State and sixth-year quarterback Sean Clifford with what seems to be an unmatched feat – three interceptions thrown TO DEFENSIVE LINEMEN in the same game.
• On the topic of interceptions, Steelers quarterback Kenny “They Picked Me Again” Pickett had just one interception in the loss to Philadelphia, a low number for him. Pickett did manage to produce two fumbles, though, losing one.
• With a 2-6 record, the Steelers are going to need to win seven of their remaining nine games to avoid a losing record, which would be a career first for coach Mike Tomlin. The remainder of the schedule has more than its share of weak sisters on it, but not enough for the Steelers to come out on the plus side of .500.
• The people at The Center For Voter Information, a non-profit operation according to the postage information on the mailing, professes to being “fair and reasonable.” But the organization is neither based on this effort. It is steering people toward voting for Clueless John Fetterman, the Joe Biden Beta version. To do so, it paints Dr. Oz as not being in favor of protecting Social Security and Medicare, a familiar false scare bromide trotted out every election to tar unfairly Republican candidates. Dr. Oz also supposedly will send jobs to foreign countries, but will not help farmers. Yeah, right. The fair and reasonable mailing didn’t mention Fetterman’s cognitive difficulties.
• I also got a mailing from the United Steelworkers, which predictably, endorsed Democrat Josh Shapiro for governor. It reminds me of a story I was told regarding a recent teachers’ union function in which the union mouthpiece was claiming bi-partisanship. But, when asked the last time the union had supported a Republican, SILENCE!

The hammering of Paul Pelosi and media reaction both to it and to other news of late, tells us more about Democrats than Republicans.

The words of longtime Democratic stooge Rahm Emanuel, “Never let a good crisis go to waste,” come to mind. Allow me to explain.

The news had barely broken of the attack on Paul “Mr. Nancy” Pelosi when the Lamestream media was spitting out innuendo and direct accusations, attempting to link the attack to Republicans, either directly or due to the “toxic environment” they have created by having the temerity to question Democratic propaganda.

You never hear the Lamestream media members opining that if only Pelosi had served some jail time for his little DUI problem, he wouldn’t have been home in his mansion to interrupt the intruder, who reportedly was looking for the man of the house – Nancy.

No, Democrats are in trouble in mid-term elections and here’s a gift-wrapped opportunity to try to wrongfully tar the opposition party and its candidates for the actions of an apparently unhinged individual. You can almost smell the desperation.

A story authored by Michael Shellenberger, raises some points you are unlikely to hear about the alleged Pelosi assailant. He cites items such as the accused man’s rambling online presence that included sharing a post roasting President George W. Bush by left-winger Stephen Colbert, as well as links to altered Disney videos with characters appearing to swear. This “Republican” also proclaimed Jesus Christ is the anti-Christ.

These are not things one is likely to hear discussed at Republican gatherings. But they don’t favor the Democratic/media narrative that this apparent nut is a typical Republican, so they are omitted from the reporting.

The Shellenberger story further tells us that the accused man has a Black Lives Matter sign in the window of his house, as well as having on display a rainbow LGBT flag with a marijuana symbol on it.

The alleged assailant is reported to have lived with a Russian woman for a long time and he originally is from Canada, with no clear statement on his status in this country.

Again, you will not hear or read any of these particulars in Lamestream media reports intent on harming Republican candidates and the party in general by linking them to this attack. The facts don’t further the narrative being pushed, which is not to be confused with reporting.

This also helps explain why media were only too happy to run with charges from a political opponent that Kari Lake, Republican front-runner in the Arizona governor’s race, had something to do with a burglary at her Democratic rival’s campaign headquarters.

Proof? We don’t need no stinking proof!

We didn’t hear such media outrage when Lee Zeldin, a Republican candidate for governor in New York, was attacked onstage during a July campaign event, or when two people were shot outside Zeldin’s home three weeks back.

By the way, the attacker of Zeldin was quickly released from jail.

Even in liberal San Francisco, were putting criminals back on the streets as quickly as possible is a plank of any Democrat’s platform, I’d be surprised if the Pelosi attack suspect gets to use a get-out-of-jail-free card.

Recently a man distributing campaign literature for Florida Republican Senator Marco Rubio was beaten severely. His crime? Wearing a Ron DeSantis hat and Rubio T-shirt.

Where is the outrage regarding this politically motivated attack?

When will Democrats be held responsible for the violent deeds of the Black Lives Matter and Antifa groups they support, either outright or behind the scenes?

When will the Lamestream media be selective in its reporting in an attempt to tar Democrats over their associations with these and other far-left fringe hate groups?

Answer: Never.

I’m surprised (sarcasm here) that Democrats haven’t tapped into our little bit of ridiculous violence here in Johnstown the past week, when a trio of females hopped on a school bus and pummeled the monitor, sending her to the hospital.

The three women seemed to be non-whites. The attack happened when the bus stopped at a public housing project. This wouldn’t help the Evil Republican narrative.

Here’s a reality the Democrats should own, with their soft-on-crime policy: A full 78 percent of respondents to an October Gallup survey believe crime is up nationally in the past year.

That’s due, in large part, to lawless big cities presided over by Democrats now and as long as anyone can recall.

Paul Pelosi is as much a victim of Democrats’ policies on crime as of any particular political hatred. But good luck getting the Lamestream media to run with that reality.

The moderators did their job in Tuesday night’s Fetterman-Oz debate, and that allowed Oz to score a technical knockout.

Fetterman still was standing at the end of the hour, but he had been bloodied – metaphorically speaking.

I had hoped aloud in a previous blog post today that the moderators would ask tough questions of both candidates for U.S. Senate. They did.

The moderators also followed up when the candidates were evasive, attempting to pin them down. And the moderators did a reasonably good job of keeping the debate on schedule.

Fetterman did his best to derail that, interrupting Oz repeatedly, even in Oz’s final remarks, an extreme breach of debate etiquette.

Dr. Oz seemed to tire of Fetterman’s interruptions about three or four examples in and began to do so himself.

In general, Fetterman bumbled and stumbled through answers. His stock prepared line, to be uttered early and often, was if Oz is talking he’s not telling the truth. There were also periodic references to 10 or so mansions Oz is said to own.

It’s hard to describe exactly what Fetterman was doing as he plodded through answers, paused for uncomfortably long moments and often issued a word salad response fit for Clueless Joe Biden.

Example: When asked what he would do to improve the college education situation, Fetterman said, “It should be affordable.”

The moderators wanted to know how he’d achieve that.

“It costs too much,” was the best Fetterman could manage by way of response.

That was in addition to claiming – falsely – that Oz had not answered the very same question when asked previously.

Oz had suggested a combination of pruning unproductive middle management that has expanded rapidly at institutions of higher education, along with making remote learning more accessible. These steps would, indeed, cut costs and increase affordability.

So, Oz repeated his answer for the benefit of Fetterman before he addressed the next question from the moderators.

Fetterman eschewed his trademark shorts and hooded sweatshirt, instead donning a suit that fit about as well as if he’d gone down to the local funeral home to pick it up second-hand.

Fetterman was particularly bad on the subject of fracking, insisting he was in favor of it to produce hydrocarbons, despite a quote the moderators displayed that had him saying he was against fracking.

The moderators called Fetterman on the outright contradiction and he had nothing for them.

Dr. Oz had some awkward moments and didn’t remind anyone of noted orator Williams Jennings Bryan with his performance. But he was up against such weak competition, he should be nominated for a Golden Tonsil Award.

Oz repeatedly made Fetterman uncomfortable by forcing him to defend his pro-criminal, anti-energy, pro-socialism track record.

Oz also brought up Fetterman’s shotgun detention of a black jogger, just because he could as the lead law enforcement official in the thriving metropolis of Braddock.

Fetterman’s summation put a weak exclamation point on his decidedly uneven performance, citing a lot of vague concepts. It was basically vote for me because I have tattoos and I’m one of you and we have to hold back the Republican hordes.

Oz, meanwhile, used his summation to reach out to both sides in promising unity and progress for Pennsylvania by working together.

It may not have considerable effect on the election outcome, but Oz won this debate. Thanks to the even-handed moderators for allowing that to happen.

I’m hoping against hope that tonight’s Pennsylvania Senate debate between Dr. Oz and John Fetterman is an even-handed example, but I’m not holding my breath.

Too often these allegedly non-partisan events are highjacked by leftist moderators, with hardball questions for the Republican candidate and softballs for the leftist Democrat.

Truly, this is an example in which each candidate could, and should, face tough questioning.

Begin with Dr. Oz. It would be perfectly fair to ask him about his past shilling and benefiting from marketing miracle cures on his television program.

It also would be fair to inquire how he came to relocate to Pennsylvania, which just happened to have an open Senate seat.

No supporter of Dr. Oz should bristle if these legitimate lines of questioning are broached. Oz has some explaining to do.

But we’re all about equal opportunity here, so Fetterman needs to answer some unpleasant questions, too.

I’d love to hear him explain living off his parents until age 49, as the one political ad notes, with documentation.

Fetterman also should be called to explain his penchant for putting criminals back on the streets, particularly at a time when rampant crime is at or near the top of citizens’ concerns in numerous polls.

Fetterman might need to explain if potential voters for him are selecting the big bald guy or, due to his impaired physical and mental state, are instead voting for his wife to take office, she being a former undocumented immigrant from Brazil. I’m thinking DR. JILL BIDEN!!!!! here in terms of the woman behind the throne.

And Fetterman has other unpleasant baggage he’d like us to allow him to carry to Washington, D.C., including past problems paying his taxes and that 2013 incident in which he erroneously held a black jogger at bay with a shotgun because he thought he had heard gunshots.

One final thing: Fetterman takes credit for ‘rescuing” Braddock, Pa., during his time as mayor. I’ve driven through Braddock in the not-too-distant past and it still looks to need a lot of rescuing.

Interestingly, there is a substantial number of people in Braddock who don’t get the Fetterman credit grab. And at least one lifelong resident called Fetterman a “carpetbagger,” ironic considering this is a characterization Fetterman’s campaign has used on Dr. Oz.

In summation, ask tough questions of both candidates.

Let this debate not devolve into some syrupy ooze of praise for Fetterman overcoming a stroke. It should be about his credentials and ability to fulfill the duties as a U.S. Senator, not a pity party due to his health setback

This baseball postseason is testimony to the 162-game regular season, by far the longest among professional sports, having been rendered somewhat inconsequential.

All you season ticketholders take note.

Consider that the National League Championship Series was contested by Philadelphia and San Diego, two teams who slipped into the wild-card picture late, with a combined record just 28 games over .500.

Meanwhile, the Los Angeles Dodgers, whose regular-season dominance produced a final record of 111-51, 60 games over .500, sat and watched.

None of the NL division champs from the regular season made the NLCS. The New York Mets, a 101-win wild-card team, also fell into the no-show category.

Baseball used to be the purest sport in terms of its postseason. A team won the National or American league title in the regular season and advanced to the World Series.

There were no do-overs for the also-rans.

Expansion in both leagues has produced breakdowns into divisions and therefore division champions. Bad enough, but, of late, increased wild-card fields of teams who couldn’t even win a division now play on past the season’s end.

Admittedly, the postseason ran truer to form in the American League, where the Houston Astros, with the best regular-season record in their league, ended up meeting and defeating the New York Yankees — owners of the second-best AL record — in the ALCS.

That doesn’t take away from the wacky NL playoffs and their message.

Baseball’s main problem with wildly expanded playoff fields is that one position – pitching – can dominate a short series without a lot of depth beyond the top three starters and top two relievers.

Other sports are not as dominated by one aspect of the game.

As for huge playoff fields, yes, hockey floods the Stanley Cup playoffs with half the NHL franchises. But it all is contested in best-of-7 series, giving the superior team ample opportunity to overcome an off game or two.

When you are playing best-of-3, or best-of-5 series, as baseball does in its early postseason rounds, the chance for the upset increases substantially.

The early expectation is that form will hold in the World Series, with Houston favored over Philadelphia, the last team to qualify for the postseason.

That doesn’t change the fact that the baseball postseason is a flawed production. Either limit the number of teams making the postseason, or lengthen the series duration in early rounds, to restore some relevance to regular-season results.

I’m envious of the United Kingdom’s parliamentary system, which provides the ability to erase quickly major mistakes that were made.

Consider the case of Liz Truss, now the answer to a trivia question. Her 44-day reign as U.K. prime minister is the shortest in history for that nation. In that short span, there was a 10-day period of inaction due to the death of Queen Elizabeth II.

Basically, Truss resigned after being advised to do so by her own Conservative party and getting indications a no-confidence vote was all but certain.

Truss and her administration showed themselves to be financial lightweights, trying to stimulate the economy and reduce taxes even as the Bank of England was doing a Federal Reserve tightening dance trying to get inflation under control.

English bonds (gilts) went into freefall over the mixed messages as interest rates increased dramatically and the pound dropped big-time. The Bank of England had to step in to attempt to restore the system and bail out massive pension funds that were taking on water.

Truss was a dead woman walking politically, sort of like Joe Biden.

There are lots of other similarities. Biden, like Truss, seems to know about as much about economics as his average welfare-recipient voter.

The economy is great, the Clueless One bragged between slurps of an oversized ice cream cone recently.

This must amuse the respondents in the latest POLITICO/Morning Consult poll (a hard-left duo), which found more than 90 percent see inflation and economic decline as their chief concerns ahead of mid-term elections.

They weren’t talking about Truss’s economy.

Imagine if Democrats had the stones to advise Clueless Joe to move on and let a sentient human being occupy the Oval Office. Of course, this would mean bidding adieu to VP Kamala Harris, too. Talk about a two-for-one deal.

Imagine if there was a mechanism to remove unpopular, inept presidents without needing to endure four long years of their foolhardiness. We’re not talking sham impeachments.

We have to settle for hopes that mid-term elections will transfer control of the U.S. House or Senate to the opposition and effectively neuter Clueless Joe and his ability to inflict harm on the nation.

How much more direct it would be to allow for the removal of an underperforming, overmatched, incompetent president, with that president’s party taking the lead in cleaning up its mess.

When you have the temerity to disagree with the emotional, fact-less screeds of leftist Democrats, you put yourself in line for some harsh name-calling.

If you don’t believe the Earth is turning into a smoldering cinder due to carbon fuel consumption, why then you are a climate denier. Yes, the label makes no sense. One does not deny there is a climate simply because one does not believe we as Earthlings are ruining it.

This denier tag got its first wide usage regarding the morons who would argue there never was a Jewish Holocaust.

Interesting how the leftists have turned around the use of the word “denier” from being critical of those ignoring the facts, to being critical of those who cite facts.

This brings us to the subject of election deniers. The term is used with disdain by leftists and left-leaning media alike to describe any Republicans who did not see the 2020 presidential election as legitimate.

These people witnessed videos of suitcases full of ballots being pulled from under tables and run through machines after the workers allegedly had gone home for the night, as had observers. They expressed concern about it all.

Satisfactory explanations never were provided.

In other Democratic strongholds, windows were taped over to prevent observers from monitoring the ballot count, or Republican observers simply were forced to leave, physically.

Dead voters remained on rolls and the bastardization of the mail-in voting process was rampant, almost always in leftist states, or those whose election oversight fell under the control of leftists. That would be so-called swing states such as my Pennsylvania, which had some curious results from Philadelphia.

Statistical analysis showed that while Clueless Joe Biden getting all the votes he needed without any late-night and mail-in abuses was possible, it was about as likely as someone being struck by lightning – twice.

Legitimate questions were raised and never satisfactorily addressed, despite evidence that the electronic voting machines could and were, in some instances, accessed remotely, something manufacturers swore couldn’t happen.

All these alleged abuses are impossible, said the leftist Democrats, arguing in the face of the facts. Should you disagree with them, you are simply a denier.

Ironically, it is Democrats who have elevated election denial to an artform. Remember Al Gore refusing to accept his 2000 loss?

How about Hillary and her characterization of Donald Trump as an illegitimate winner?

Kari Lake, an outspoken Republican running for governor in Arizona, brought up election-denier whining by Democrats earlier this week, using a data package given to her by a constituent to note plenty of this in the past.

Among examples Lake mentioned was the continuing denials by Stacey Abrams when she lost the last Georgia governor’s race. She’d better get the denials shined up because she’s losing again, if polls are to be believed.

On the subject of polls, the realclearpolitics.com web site is chock full of polls. Despite the appearance of these, with many races leaning Democrat, the site not only is predicting the Republicans take control of the U.S. House, it also predicts a final 52-48 edge for Republicans in the Senate.

This is due to realclearpolitics adjusting polls with a four-percent or so fudge factor shown in the past to exist in polls systemically under-representing conservative and/or Republican sentiment.

If these predictions come to fruition, brace for a wave of losing Democrats claiming election misconduct.

They will not be deniers, of course, just concerned guardians of our democracy.

Blind allegiance to the religion of analytics is harming sports.

There is nothing wrong with basic statistical analysis, in any aspect of life. But, when it is taken to the extreme and viewed as infallible, that’s when the problems begin.

It was only natural that we’d get to this point. Nothing succeeds like excess, in personal life and in sports.

Many trace the birth of the analytic movement to the Oakland A’s and the Moneyball concept, in which extreme reliance on statistical measurement allowed a small-market, limited-budget franchise to win more than its share of games.

It is important to note, however, that the philosophy never produced much in the way of postseason success and more important, ZERO championships.

A lot of the current analytics stress is on taking outsized chances, like swinging for homeruns almost every at-bat in baseball, or trying to convert fourth-down opportunities an inordinately high amount of times in football.

For a real-world example of how such things can fail catastrophically, consider the case of Long Term Capital Management, which nearly brought down the financial system in 1998.

After producing outsized gains in its first three years, Long Term Capital lost $4.6 billion in four months of 1998, necessitating a bailout.

The high-leverage strategy (investing multiples of actual capital) worked until it didn’t. That and failing to consider unlikely, but possible negative outcomes, doomed Long Term and almost the entire system.

Move to sports and the failures of analytics have been on stark display recently, if one bothers to look.

It is no mere coincidence that we’ve seen the two longest scoreless games in the entire history of postseason baseball just in the past week.

First, Cleveland and Tampa Bay set a standard when they went into the 14^th inning scoreless in Game 2 of their AL Wild Card Series.

The home-run or bust strategy didn’t produce a score until the 15^th inning, when Cleveland won on a solo shot by Oscar Gonzalez.

Just two days back, the Houston Astros and Seattle Mariners went into the 18^th inning scoreless, re-setting the record. This one also ended with a solo homer.

That game was an excruciating viewing experience as batters continued to overswing, chase pitches out of the strike zone and generally try to end the game with one swing instead of taking a walk, hitting behind a runner, or doing any of the other things teams used to do to squeeze out a run in a tight, low-scoring game.

On Sunday, a highly anticipated NFL game between Super Bowl contenders Buffalo and Kansas City became a showcase for extreme analytics overuse.

Buffalo, trailing 7-3 in the second quarter, passed an a short field-goal attempt and instead tried to convert a fourth-and-goal from the KC 3-yard line, failing miserably.

Undaunted, with the score tied 17-17 early in the fourth quarter, Buffalo went on fourth-and-3 at the KC 46-yard line, and failed yet again.

Blessed with great field position, the Chiefs had to move just 28 yards before hitting the go-ahead field goal to lead 20-17.

Yes, Buffalo scored a late touchdown to win, 24-20, and along the way converted a fourth-and-1 from its 33-yard line with under four minutes remaining. But this last fourth-down gamble made sense because of the stage of the game, the score, and the shorter distance to make a first down.

It could be argued that the late heroics would not have been necessary if Buffalo had not passed on a field-goal try earlier, and not later handed KC a three-point opportunity with the second failed fourth-down conversion try from near midfield.

If Buffalo had resisted the analytics siren call, the Bills already would have been up based on that six-point swing.

The analytic overkill in sports these day ignores two salient points.

One, sports are contested by humans, who can ride momentum, adrenaline, emotion, to performances that defy the statistics.

Two, being an analytics daredevil is akin to walking a tightrope with no safety net. One big splat on the pavement more than outweighs any previous successes.

I hear some Penn State fans are stunned by the crushing defeat Saturday at the hands of Michigan, a 41-17 spectacle that was not as close as the final score indicated. They shouldn’t be shocked.

These fans, who spend selected fall Saturdays chanting “We are” and answering “Penn State,” easily could have seen this coming if they cared to examine past and present. Let us explain it to them in a format they might understand.

We are . . . 2-14 against Top 10 competition under coach James Franklin, he of the decade-long contract extension based, apparently, on losing big games consistently.

We are . . . undisciplined, as Joey Porter Jr.’s early game personal foul penalty and numerous other miscues by Penn State players demonstrated.

We are . . . lucky to be ranked so highly (No. 10 ahead of this game) considering a lack of impressive victories, but that will change when the latest polls are announced.

We are . . . fortunate to be in contention at halftime of this Michigan game considering the lopsided nature of the offensive statistics.

We are . . . quarterbacked by Sean Clifford (The Big Red Shirt, Not Dog) who might qualify for Social Security before running out of eligibility.

We are . . . according to victorious Michigan players, boastful on social media and in the tunnel to the dressing rooms at halftime, but mute on the field.

We are . . . blessed with a new defensive coordinator, identified by sycophantic network broadcasters early in the game as the right fit for Penn State, which presumably explains surrendering 418 rushing yards and 41 points.

We are . . . unlikely ever again to contend seriously for a Big Ten title or National Championship unless both Michigan and Ohio State are put on probation — permanently.

We are . . . very likely going to absorb a similar pounding when Ohio State comes visiting in two weeks.

We are . . . able to beat Ohio University and Central Michigan, just not the two top-dog schools from those states. Michigan State tends to be a struggle, too.

We are . . . destined once again to ship off at season’s end to a lower-tier bowl game, where coach Franklin will bask in adulation over yet another successful season — if you don’t count the Michigan and Ohio State games — and will be awarded a contract extension in perpetuity.