Bless The Popup Ad

If you ever have wondered why there are so many popup ads encountered while surfing the internet, it’s for a simple reason: They work.

Consider my example from today, when such an ad introduced me to some items I desperately needed, but I just didn’t realize it until that magic moment in the ether.

The day already had been productive, with a couple of quick stock trades designed to take advantage of downward pressure on precious metals and mining stocks. Buy low and sell high actually works, if you can buy when things look bleak and sell into euphoria.

Also, the two granddaughters got picked up early for doctor’s appointments, so it was time to catch up on the world’s absurdity with a quick browse of zerohedge.com.

While reading one article, perhaps on the cancel culture’s condemnation of Dr. Seuss as a racist, or maybe it was Andrew Cuomo’s nonapology apology for manhandling women, up popped an ad for a hat. I chuckled out loud.

Said hat is red and looks like those MAGA hats that Trump supporters wear and by so doing seem to trigger morons on the left.

This hat addressed that very issue, reading across its front “Relax Idiots-It’s Just A Hat.”

Had to have one. Make that two, just in case one gets old and tattered through use.

So I created my account on rightwinggear.com and started shopping.

Not only did I need two of the red hats, I discovered I needed a couple of Second Amendment hats. In this case the hat is black with a white numeral 2 and a pair of conjoined AR-style weapons making an A on the other side of the hat, their magazine wells creating the crossbar of the A.

But wait, there’s more. Spend at least $60 and the shipping’s free. Time to keep looking.

There was a come-on for a mystery hat for the paltry price of $7. You buy the hat and get a surprise when it arrives. I’m thinking the surprise won’t be that it’s a Black Lives Matter or Antifa hat.

Sure, put me down for one surprise hat.

Well, that bumped the total, but we’re still short of $60. Everything on the site seems to be on sale.

Wait, look at that black 2020 election T-shirt with a map of the nation on its front. The counties that voted for Donald Trump are colored red and described in the key as the United States of America.

The Biden outposts, colored blue, are correctly labeled Democraticstan.

Won’t that go well with my new hats?

More good news; I’m now over the magic $60 threshold. Free shipping isn’t a government stimulus check, but it’s close.

Enter the credit card information. Confirm all important details. Hit enter and get the confirmation email.

All that’s left is for the delivery people to drop the package at the doorstep.

Now, let’s surf the web some more and find out what else I need, but didn’t know it.