By now you know, even if you didn’t want to, that Punxsutawney Phil was hoisted in front of his adoring crowd today, saw his shadow, and thus we are doomed to six more weeks of winter.
I always thought the fix was in regarding Phil. Whether it be sunny or not, the glare of all the electric lighting and those television cameras – plus smart phones videoing the proceedings – virtually guarantee a shadow result on Gobblers Knob.
With all due respect to Phil, I’ve never ventured to Punxsutawney on this day. I did, however, serve as a member of the wedding party 49 years back when my cousin displayed his sense of humor by being married on Feb. 2. He’d gotten engaged on April Fools Day.
My son once did go to the Phil show (Woodchuckstock) as a college adventure and hasn’t been back since (at least not on Feb. 2), which speaks to the attraction of it all.
Regardless, I was amused to hear that Phil might be branching out on prognosticating, beyond practicing meteorology without a license.
It seems Phil could be spreading into political and social punditry.
And so, Phil saw his shadow today and predicted six more weeks of Clueless Joe Biden classified documents being discovered, including in Phil’s burrow – next to Phil’s Corvette.
Phil saw his shadow and predicted six more weeks of Hunter Biden making fumbling, bumbling claims about his laptop, or maybe what is not his laptop, and asking daddy’s justice department lackeys to make all the mean people pay for talking about that laptop with Hunter’s disgusting personal information on it, whether or not the laptop actually is Hunter’s.
Phil saw his shadow and predicted six more weeks of Democrats whining about Republicans doing to them what Democrats did to Republicans when the Dems held the majority in the House of Representatives.
Phil saw his shadow and predicted six more weeks of pathetically over-the-top emotional displays from Democrats, such as outgoing Biden Chief of Staff Ron Klain, who cried his way through a departure press conference and proclaimed Clueless Joe the greatest father figure he’d ever encountered. Yes, the guy who sired and raised Hunter and now covers up for his errant behavior. I hope Klain’s real father isn’t alive and forced to hear any of his son’s maudlin garbage.
Phil saw his shadow and predicted six more weeks of White House press mouthpiece Karine Gay-Paris (Paree) stonewalling reporters, even those from formerly friendly left-wing Lamestream media operations.
Phil saw his shadow and predicted six more weeks – at least – of machinations over raising the national debt limit. We never can pay back existing indebtedness, short of a hyperinflationary event rendering debt meaningless, so what’s a few extra trillion dollars of shortfall?
Phil saw his shadow and predicted six more weeks of bad economic news. Despite those suspect glowing job reports, and a rip-roaring stock market in which companies on life support such as Carvana are rising meteorically, understand that just today stalwarts like Apple, Alphabet (Google), Amazon, Starbucks and Ford were among major companies reporting significant earnings misses.
And last, with spring training opening later this month, Phil saw his shadow and predicted six more weeks, months, years and decades of bad Pittsburgh Pirates baseball.
Sam Ross Jr's site 