Only here, dear reader, might you get the unlikely pairing of Doublemint gum and schadenfreude, all in regard to the World Cup.
Doublemint chewing gum very famously used twins in its advertising and the slogan “Double your pleasure, double your fun” to promote the gum’s double hit of peppermint, or perhaps it was mint and wintergreen? Sources vary on the details.
The ads were memorable, perhaps in part due to the double entendre of hooking up with twins.
Schadenfreude is something of a favorite concept here, it being the taking of joy in the misfortune of others, particularly those you do not like.
And that brings us to the World Cup. Why limit yourself to rooting for a team, or teams, when you also can pick teams to root against, and celebrate their pain should they lose?
First of all, I root for the United States, unlike leftist Democrats. Many U.S. fans are celebrating wildly today the special dispensation that negated the red card of star player Folarin Balogun, incurred against Bosnia, and which would have made him unavailable to play vs. Belgium Monday night.
The red card was a dramatic over-reach by video referees and rumor has it no less than President Donald J. Trump intervened with World Cup types. It’s not only Iranian despots who fear him, apparently.
Belgians are hopping mad; understandably so. Those Belgians still might win this game, but it is a bigger challenge with Balogun playing.
Besides cheering the United States men, we have identified several teams whose exit has or would bring joy to us.
Begin with Australia, a nation that has lapsed from rugged individualism to kneejerk liberalism. Fans of the hapless Australia team were chanting anti-Trump messages during a 2-0 loss to the Americans in group play
Said Aussies now can chant in their home land, because they’ve been dispatched, losing to Egypt on penalty kicks. G’day boys and G’night.
Closer to home, Canada has been a World Cup irritant as a host of the event, along with the United States and Mexico.
Canada suffers from a terminal inferiority complex when it comes to the United States and seems to think that can be cured if they can beat us in sporting endeavors.
From Prime Minister Mark Carney (Barker) on down, the country lives – mostly dies – on the sporting field vs. the U.S. Recall last year’s World Series, when Toronto got taken out by Los Angeles.
Then there was the Olympic men’s and women’s hockey, more U.S. wins over Canada.
The Canada men’s soccer coach is an American, Jesse Marsch, who is suffering chronic butt hurt regarding having been passed over as U.S. men’s coach.
Like a petulant child, Jesse stomps his feet and says outrageous things in a desperate grab for attention.
Consider that, after his team was sent from the Cup on the short end of a 3-0 score at the hands of Morocco, a blowout in soccer, little Jesse was saying afterward he’d rather be his team than Morocco.
This was met with mass incredulity from the studio gang on the Fox broadcast. To repeat, mouthy Jesse preferred to be eliminated rather than to move on, arguing that his team had played better.
Whatever gets you through the night, Jesse.
Schadenfreude regarding Canada’s demise made me deliriously happy.
Earlier today, I enjoyed Norway sending the arrogant Brazil types back home. Brazil did not handle things with class. That Norway goalie stopped one penalty shot and had three or four other five-bell saves in an eventual 2-1 Norway victory.
And, even as I write this, a weather delay has moved back the start of England playing Mexico. I have the broadcast paused.
Perhaps another current hemisphere irritant, provider of most of the illegal immigrants to this country, can lose, on its home soil, no less. How sweet that would be for cartel land.
If the English can overcome their many obstacles, from ridiculous Mexico fans trying to deny them sleep, to Mexico playing at home and at high-altitude to boot, and win this game, I might even find a Union Jack to fly for a day.
We’re rooting for you, Harry Kane and friends. Give us more schadenfreude, and Doublemint gum, too.
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