Life has become one nightmarish day after another, proving and proving again that an uncomfortable percentage of the population has gone crazy.
Just today I had to wrap my head with duct tape to prevent an explosion after listening to Tony Fauci’s 5th amendment fetish testimony before Congress. And then there were the contradictory utterances of Federal Reserve Chairman Kevin Warsh, who I wish had borrowed Fauci’s 5th amendment disclaimer card and just refused to answer the insipid questions at his press conference.
Toss in the usual assortment of brain-dead Democrats in Congress lionizing Fauci, child-like celebrities so eager to inflict their political views on us, or the upstart Democratic Socialists of America crowd who want to do away with capitalism, property rights, police, prisons and any other of the niceties that make for a civilized society, unlike, say, the wreckage we have in most Middle East countries, and their counterparts in Africa and Europe.
It particularly annoys me when the so-called artists of music and film feel their celebrity status imbues them with wisdom we in the lower castes could only dream of possessing.
Let us turn the tables on them by borrowing their tunes. We will begin with an update on “Imagine” the left-wing dreamer anthem by John Lennon, who helped break up the Beatles by marrying a groupie with a face that looked like the north end of a south-bound mule and, like his band mates, fled Jolly Old England looking to escape the taxman, the same one they whined about in the song “Taxman.”
Somehow, they didn’t want to pay increased taxes as high earners. Lennon left that out of “Imagine.” We will help him out with updates in other timely areas.
Imagine there are no prisons
It’s easy if you try
No bars before them
Above them only sky
Imagine all the prisoners
Free to rob and slay
Oooh, hooo…..
Imagine no more coppers
Just please don’t ask me why
No one to bust the bad guys
Just leaving us to cry
Imagine all the people
Hiding in their homes
Ah, ah . . .
You may say that I’m a moron
But I’m not the only one
We decree that you will join us
And the world we know will be quite done.
With apologies to the rock band Three Dog Night, I kept hearing the tune “Mama Told Me (Not To Come)” as I watched Fauci invoking the 5th amendment a reported 111 times today.
What’s Rand Paul got in mind
With his current committee
What’s all these crazy questions they’re askin’ me?
Seems like they all read my diary
Don’t turn on the lights, and put me on TV
Mama told me just play dumb
Mama told me just play dumb
Just you sit sit there and be mum (uh-uh)
Open up the window and let my lawyers in the room
I need their help just to keep me acting a buffoon
That gavel that you’re wavin’ bout scare me half to death
Open up the window, sucker, get some COVID in my breath
Mama told me just play dumb
Mama told me just play dumb
Just you sit there and be mum
Just you sit there and be mum (uh-uh)
Questions keep on coming and my throat is getting sore
I’m looking at my lawyer who’s escorted out the door
I’m seeing looks in faces I ain’t never seen before
I’m closing my eyes, but still I hear the roar
Mama told me just play dumb
Mama told me just play dumb
Just you sit there and be mum
Just you sit there and be mum (no-no)
Before we leave, let us give a nod in song to prominent celebrities with reported mental health issues. Begin with quixotic Greta Thunberg, whose leaping about from cause to cause (climate change, Gaza, etc.) might be a symptom of reported Asperberger’s syndrome, obsessive-compulsive disorder and selective mutism. Let’s add minor Hollywood star Alan Ritchson, apparently having added Trump Derangement Syndrome to his already long list of ailments including bipolar disorder, complex post-traumatic stress disorder and at least one attempted suicide attempt (obviously unsuccessful).
We salute them with updated words to “They’re Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!” a 1966 novelty song written and performed by Jerry Samuels, aka Napoleon XIV.
Remember when I sailed away
To Gaza on my boat
But Israelis would not let me land and I thought I’d go berserk
I sailed away so unfulfilled
And cried and cried all day
Alas, please let me tell you I’ve completely lost my mind
And they’re coming to take me away, ha-ha
They’re coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha
They laughed at me, the Reacher Man, fighting over bikes
I play a tough guy on TV, but oh real life is rough.
The demons in my head tell me that Trump is all at fault
And so each chance I get I swear and just say FUXX Old Trump
I hate that Donald Trump, I say
He’s driving me (more) insane
And they’re coming to take me away, ha-ha
The’re coming to take away, ho-ho, hee-ee, ha-ha
Just Greta T and me
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